To be the main character...

To reach the highest is not the easiest thing to do in life. To gain not respect, but follow your inspiration to reach the highest point in life is the hardest route to move on yet it's the only satisfying journey that I can head to. It's no more lazy lifestyle or gaming world now but to thrive deep into the bottom and see the heaven way up high. Along the way is full of sour and bitter yet the anticipating sweetness will come soon just triggers the confidence and courage to take another step forward. Chicken as I am, cowardly as I was, and lonely as I'm always...yet I can only walk the path alone but not to have any hand to support me along the way.
Yes that I'm desperate to find my the other half but it seems that I often find the wrong one and unable to accept the ones that liked me for I'm unable to be inspired to like them. For truth can only surfaced in matter of time while lies will only grow a mark on my forehead.
I'm a man of weakness in me that I can only move forward to be tough. I'm bored and often live in dull yet only speed and momentum inspire me for keep on moving will as if tell me that this boring life is going to be over soon. I'm moving on to another world and discovering another new place and see new things. If I stop moving, I feel that I'm stuck somewhere, in a no-man's-island or in a desserted city. Often the sense of dead flowers grow beside me for plants are unable to blossom around me and I would warn people to keep away from me for I bring disaster and pain, tears and scars and even disease in their life. I can't stop the spread but to partition everything away from me so the rotting will surround me and negativity will be absorbed and contained in me until one day I can dissolve it and live again.
Till that day, let the elements around me rejuvenate to grow some new plants. For every touch may not give life, but hopefully every miles I walk will give hope.

Why am I doing what I'm doing...

Well, it's been awhile since I haven't spoken to this girl. Well, supposingly I'm not sure why I can't speak to her but somehow I guess I'm just don't feel like speaking to her for no reasons. Often she come over to our place as she's my friend's gf alr. It's not to say that I want to avoid anything but just that I don't want to be so mean or harsh but I just don't want to talk to her.
It could be the sense of lie or being fooled around that I don't know what I should do. Shall I say hello, how r u these days? Having fun much these days? It'll all sound so fake and I'll just give a smile in front and sneak myself away then. Alternatively, I chose to be quiet and just live my life and do what I want and I like.

Maybe that explains why I suddenly feel freedom and floating all the time and leaving my studies away lolx... I'm getting naughty now and not bothering lots of stuff. I'm sorry girl but I'm not so free to play with a person that I can't seem to trust anymore. If that's he that you want, go ahead and don't expect me to treat you the same anymore. Oh...it feels so good now that it's like release from the chain. You can say that I failed to pursue in a relationship again and I'm celebrating for the "misfortune" yet I don't give a damn anymore. It's another cycle of being single and free again...so who cares!!!

Okay...now's the moment for me to bring myself to a higher level in my studies after so much hardwork. I can't skrew it up and I'll thrive hard and give myself confidence and momentum to study hard for I'm who I am and I'm the only person can change my life.