A man's built to be tough

I'm just feeling lonely. I can't stop trying to  let loose of my relationship but I am just juggling my feeling even after coming a year of struggle. I feel both on a personal failure and responsible for how we get to this consequences.

I just feel really lonely now. I know I can pickup myself but I just know I'll have to make the decision to quit my current relationship. I can't make sense of my action now if I'm making another mistake forward or am I doing for the better of both worlds? Every time we talk, it becomes emotional and I just eventual to delay that departure. I know eventually I need to make a decision, is this decision right? Will I regret this decision? Despite the consensus, am I stubborn enough to make the right decision?

Turning point in life

I'm starting a healthy diet and I'm interested to seek more lean body shape and seek to achieve greater stamina. I find that I always rush for work and studies that I've been sacrificing my health. So I hope to get my acts together and build a stronger body.

My schedule so far:
1. Cut down all carbs
2. Gym everyday for at least an hour
3. Frequent small meals and avoid large meals
4. Water and tea, avoid anything else
5. Greens and fruits which are my favourite food
6. If I ain't lean enough I will slowly outgrow my suits!!! :(

Life 6 June 2015

Just finished my CFA exam today, saw many familiar faces yet there isn't as many people sitting for the exam as I imagined. Somehow I really think it's been like uni days today that really question myself why I'm still stuck in similar uni life and probably not live my life I want to?

Interestingly went through the whole speech for Harvard graduated by Natalie Portman. I find it interesting about the views & experience shared about herself being in Harvard, reminds me of Melbourne Uni. Of course I haven't won any Oscar per say, somehow its interesting to see different industry does pretty similar things - research, getting into the character, practice, experience and finally create/innovate. Perhaps human are consistently born to be inspired, to recreate, to motivate... I really can connect the part she mentioned about fear where I constantly throw myself into uncountable zone, running away from it and/or embrace it to live another day. I guess it's the choices we make and the risk we take to change that motivation, challenge and creation to make our purpose of life different.

Somehow, I often find myself working tirelessly towards the simple life I seek, the closest people I care but I just don't feel happy but empty in me...the half cup full somehow feel amiss. Perhaps I am not living the life I want to live, see the people I want to see and have a sense of relationship that make me feel belonged?...