There's this part of me that somehow I supposed I haven't know how to express myself to my beloved ones, e.g. my family unless we're sharing the same creative thoughts. Even though I might seem playful, but it's still hard for me to tell how much I'm concern about my family sometimes. I used to dislike my father, not hate. Then rather I found that he's just not so expressive in showing his tender side to us because he might not know how to. Well, now that I'm much of an adult, I find that I'm getting more and more like him sometimes.
Probably I don't know how to change it. Is it in my gene or it's just myself being not expressive towards showing my love? I still consider myself brought up in a happy family although quarrelling often occurs around us. Yet, I believe that as long as everyone in the family have the positive thinking and willing to help each other, nothing can come our way. However, I cannot change much of the mistakes or circumstances happened before. As I thought that instead I can change my future family life and how things could be better. However, suddenly I felt this thought that I'm not able to do that because I'm not even expressive myself to show it. Why? Why? I can't figure out why and what to do suddenly?
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